I don't think brook has ever known best
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize