just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
