I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
