i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
