just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
