Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
