I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
