so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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