this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
