Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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