she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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