I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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