sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
