Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
