i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
