I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I will be naked everywhere
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
