do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
