He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's just like the Real World with babies
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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