I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
