grandma shit on top of the toilet
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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