Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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