I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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