Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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