She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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