paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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