i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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