she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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