i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All the doctor said was why
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
