Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hippo gnu deer
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Mom said you looked used
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
