Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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