Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
