I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You were trust falling into bushes
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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