My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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