problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
