Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we're making bets on your personal life
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
