? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
