i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
