is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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