Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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