I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I got inside last night via doggy door
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
