Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
