Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
what the fuck happened to the tacos
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
