I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
