you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
