So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
