I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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