Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
