I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
