if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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