if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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