What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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