I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize