i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
