Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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