with your own penis?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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