Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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