i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
